Ten Things You May Not Know About Me:
1. I make and maintain “To-Do” lists compulsively. At any given time I have 2-3 running on my phone, as well as a daily shortlist scrawled in my written agenda book. Nothing quite hits the spot like checking something off or crossing something out.
2. If I’m having a bad day, the best way to cheer me up is to hand me a glass of milk, a box of Oreos, and offer to play the Golden Girls drinking game with me.
3. I’m not competitive, not even with myself. It’s why I never enter contests, sign up for marathons, or even really care about upward career trajectory. I still consider myself to be a very motivated person; I believe the two can be mutually exclusive.
4. I have barely any memories from before I was ten years old, and have not [to my knowledge] been a victim of any kind of trauma.
5. For an entire year (June 2013-June 2014) I was plagued with severe recurring yeast infections that, in addition to being painful and obnoxious, almost entirely prevented me from receiving penetrative sex and in fact changed the entire way that I approach/relate to sex, both in my work and in my personal life. Only my partners and a few close friends knew. After seeing several specialists, applying dietary changes, and adhering to an intense regiment of antibiotics, my symptoms vanished four months ago. I’m still dealing with the emotional aftermath of that year. I wish it were more acceptable for sex workers to vocalize when their bodies are hurting or broken. Instead, it’s seen as shattering the “fantasy” – we’re supposed to be sexual superheros, and talking about ailments isn’t sexy. But you know? Even Wonder Woman bled.
6. I still carry a torch for every person I’ve ever dated.
7. I can be a bit of a kleptomaniac, particularly when it comes to liberating items from large oppressive corporations and snatching tiny mementos from moments I want to remember.
8. I find book jackets completely unnecessary and infuriating.
9. I’m a pretty mean speller, and I still look fondly upon the fact that I won my fourth grade spelling bee (I lost my fifth grade spelling bee on account of the word “reservoir”. NEVER FORGET!).
10. I’m very much like a preadolescent boy in how I express physical affection. If I hit, tease, pinch, and tickle you, I’m exceptionally fond of you. The more uncomfortable you are, the more intense the love! I live to roughhouse.
Happy Hump Day, lovers!